"I LOVE MY BODY"

...or so society tells me I have to think this. In this new age of body acceptance, we are told that we are to accept how are bodies look & LOVE it! I get it, I really do. As a mom of an 11 year old girl and a 14 year old boy, I want my kids to have a healthier image of themselves than I did when I was young. I hated my body back then, because people told me I wasn't enough. I wasn't skinny enough, I wasn't tall enough, my boobs weren't big enough, etc. I look back at pictures and I'd give anything NOW to look as good as I did. 

My kids have great little bodies, but even they feel the pressures of society and wish they were skinnier.

"I love my body" is the biggest lie I could tell myself. Why do people force that down our throats, especially when it's, alot of times, the furthest thing from the truth.

Why should I love something that betrays me more often than not? Why should I celebrate a body that can't even digest it's food properly? Why should I be proud of the fact that my skin is so sick, it keeps me up all night in pain? Why in the world would I love this vessel when it can't follow the rules of nature and do what it's supposed to?

WHY?!

I hate this body, most days. If I'm being honest. It's gross and naughty.

But then I remind myself, it's strong. It housed & birthed 2 special souls. It has sustained my life through things I've never thought I'd get through. It can still complete a workout(no matter how much it retaliates against me).

I look in the mirror & see this broken body staring back at me.

But that's just it, isn't it? It's STILL staring back at me. It hasn't COMPLETELY failed me yet.

So I should love it, right?!

(HA! I wouldn't go that far...)

Let's just say I'll ACCEPT it.

And isn't that truly what "Body Acceptance" means?

This Is A Public Service Announcement...

No, seriously! It is. 

As I sit here way too early, AWAKE, at 3-something on Mother's Day!

It's Sunday! Not a school morning where I have to get my son up for the early bus.

Bone pain. Two little words for a big pain in the butt. I've never had it, until I let someone else take control of my health. 

A year ago....I let a man talk me into believing he could totally fix me. A Chiropractor.

I did the initial interview....pretty much letting him know I was allergic to life(or so it seemed). He was so confident he could fix about 80% of my issues. WOW!!! AMAZING! After almost 7 years(at that point) of suffering, that sounded like a miracle.

I went to MANY sessions...3 a week at first, then 2 a week. I was told my spine, hips & skull were all severely out of alignment. Makes sense, since I had a childhood injury where I twisted my neck in an "S" shape. I also fell at work, smashing my head on concrete when I was pregnant with my oldest.

I let this chiropractor crack & snap & knock my body around, thinking I was on my way to healing. 

Little did I know each of those manipulations was sending more & more histamine into my body, overloading my already full body with more of what I didn't want.

I stopped going after 2 months because we ran out of money to pay him in cash. Thank God because I'd be so much worse if I continued to go.

I now suffer from horrible lower back pain that keeps me awake at night. If I sit down, everytime I get up, my hips get shooting pain in them. If I turn at my waist, pain shoots up my spine & feels like I pulled something. With all the skull plate knocking he did, the overload of histamine in my head has started this scary cycle of constant hair fall. And my most "fun" issue I've been left with is dyshidrotic eczema. 

For the last year....yes it stinks my hair is falling out, but my fingers have been blistering up with clusters of hundreds of tiny fluid filled holes under my skin. They pop, open, ooze, peel, crack open & start all over again....and again.

Let's get down to the root of the problem...

The act of manipulating bones, causes our body's mast cells to degranulate(burst open & release histamine, among other things)

People who already have an overload of histamine in their bodies, or mast cell diseases....BEWARE! I wasn't diagnosed at the time, but when I told the chiropractor how allergic I was to everything, that should have set off alarms for him to not touch me! Obviously, some practitioners aren't staying current with diseases & such, but they should be aware that when they manipulate people's bones, they are releasing histamine. Even the act of digestion creates a release in histamine in our bodies(the reason why I can't comfortably eat solid food now)

I wish I never would have let anyone touch my body.

The damage is done & I have to live with it, but if I can help atleast one person avoid the damage....stay away from chiropractors! Be your own activist....care for your fragile body.

Even if you're not diagnosed yet....if you seem to be allergic to everything....stay away from chiropractic adjustments. I realize they help some people, but if you are like me....you are better off keeping your crooked body. ;)

I would give anything to have my separated skull plates, twisted hips, and wavy spine back. LOL!